Thursday, June 11, 2009

what doesn't kill you, makes you stronger.

I find myself really struggling this week. I feel utterly and completely betrayed, by someone for whom I've given so much in the years that we've been friends. Now, I'm not saying that I did it for the glory or to get something in return, but when I receive the complete opposite of friendship back, it makes me sad. I'm really sad. And I'm frustrated that I'm sad, because I know I'm a complete downer and pretty much preoccupied these days.
I'm also angry. And my growing anger is a little surprising and scary. I'm angry at people I thought I knew, at people I don't know, and at people who have been friends to me in the past. I feel like no one is sticking up for me. I know that there are people sticking up for me now, but when it was all going down, before I even knew that I was about to lose a friend, it seems like no one was sticking up for me. There was no fight, just resigned sadness. And I'm not sure how to deal with that.